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Yeah, I'm a little out of it, and at the moment it is evening, but not one in the morning. Ah, so this post. Well, I've been thinking. Thinking about everything: my blog, my writing, my job, etc.
I'm going to start this with a question: Do you ever feel like you're at a crossroads? Because I feel like I'm at this perpetual crossroads and all I'm doing is running in circles. To be honest with my readers, I've been under a lot of stress lately. It's a combination of everything that encompasses my life. I won't get into the details of my personal problems (which aren't necessarily problems, more like frustrations). I just need to express myself a little.
I'm a blogger who loves to read and write. I want to keep up with my challenges. I want to write my book. I want to keep up with my favorite TV shows. I want to reopen my Etsy shop. I want to find a new job. I want to take a vacation. Scratch that, I need to take a vacation. I'm finding it hard to make time for everything I would like to do. Because of all this stuff I try to keep up with, and all this stuff I want to do, I keep going from these happy highs to these mopey lows. I feel like I'm wasting time and gaining momentum at the same time. Thinking about it gives me an enormous headache. I try to be in two places at once, but that only gives 50% of me to each place. Sometimes I feel like I've overbooked myself. Chances are, I probably did.
Don't get me wrong--my blog is probably one of the best things I've done. I wouldn't have met such sweet, respectful, honest, and awesome people without it. I also wouldn't have discovered as many upcoming books on my own. Even though the list to be read has grown dramatically, I'm still happy for the variety. Another thing my blog has lead me to (or back to) is my love of writing. I doubt I would have ever bothered with NaNoWriMo without it.
I feel like there is a lack of balance in my life. I feel that I need to come up with a new plan. A new agenda. I feel like going back to that crossroads to find the right path. Not completely change direction, just reevaluate everything. It's like I said on my "About Me": Currently in the midst of her quarter-life-crisis yet getting very close to reaching an epiphany. That's probably hitting the nail on the head right there. I'm still in the middle of childhood and adulthood and there's just so much to fit into so little time, you know?
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On that note, just to let you know, February is going to be a transition month for me. I'll still be posting, just probably not as much. I want to focus more of my energies on my story and reorganizing everything else (including my TBR list and my Etsy shop). Part of this reorganization will also be my blog postings. When I write them, I spend far too much time on them (so much wasted energies in the striving of the perfect blog post; speaking of which, expect a blog post on that posted soon). I'll be back with a new weekly and monthly format at some point in March (most likely mid-month). Which will be just in time for my blogoversary on March 21st!
Thanks for taking the time to read through this if you did (huge hugs for those of you who did!). I know it was very long and probably very boring. I just needed to say it, get it all out there.
And now it's time to go and take care of business. Much love to everyone!
I just read your whole post and do not feel like I wasted my time. It is great that you are honest with yourself. I try not to concentrate too hard on my blog posts and write what I feel. I always see people re-telling the story of the book in their own words and I just can't do that! So now I just write my point of view on the book and post the goodreads description for them to find out what the book is about. And now I am at peace! :) You will find your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you sweetie! That's one habit I do tend to do, but I've gotten a little better with it. I hope I do find my way! :D
DeleteYou always have a way of writing exactly what I want to say in a much better way than I could ever phrase it. I'm sure I've said this to you before but I am going to say it again. I know exactly how you feel Jessica. It's like we expect ourselves to have super multitasking powers and anything but being exceptional at everything is not good enough. Sometimes I feel like I'm being stretched so thin, it makes me want to give up on everything. But recently I've just decided to cut myself some slack (for my health and my sanity) and that seems to have helped. I lived in fear that my blog buddies would leave if I didn't blog every day, but in the end, it's just like real friends. The real ones will stick around regardless. I hope everything works out for you and that you can find some kind of balance.
ReplyDeleteI think we're kindred spirits, Lan. Stretched so thin, that is one of the best ways of putting it. That's what I'm thinking too--for my health and sanity I need balance. And it is definitely true that people who are real friends will stick with you no matter what. I'm hoping I can find balance too. :) Thanks!
DeleteHi Jessica and friends :)
ReplyDeleteAlthough, my interest is not so much reading and writing, I can relate to the TO DO List growing and growing until it takes over. I have recently decided to take it at my own pace and not have so many anxieties over the what I want to do. I can do all I want to do - just not all at once. I will get there - as will you! Enjoy the ride. PS - Loved the post! :)
Thanks hon! Taking things at your own pace is a good idea. A lot of times people rush around to get more done and exhaust themselves. It's definitely a good idea to slow down a bit. :)
DeleteI know how you feel. Not about feeling too busy, per se, but about being at a crossroads but running in circles. Very frustrating. Good look with your epiphany. I know you'll get there.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It feels good to know that we're not alone and we can all be there for each other and encourage one another. :)
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