Hello and Happy New Year!
I'm so grateful to be embracing a new year full of possibility. 2018 was a year where not everything went as planned. I had a number of intentions and goals, but they often fell by the wayside and got nowhere.
One of my biggest goals for 2018 was to publish again. I was gung ho for awhile, then it would fizzle out. It was one disappointing deadline push after another until I had a heart to heart with a friend and realized I needed to slow down. I was setting loftier goals than I could handle and subsequently causing myself to become discouraged when I couldn't meet them. The last fiction book I published was in February 2016 (Can't Stay Away as Lilly Avalon), and I didn't like that it had been so long since I published something. The longer I had to wait, the more anxious I would get, and the less I could focus.
I took a much needed break over the summer of 2018 and paced myself. I wrote when I felt motivated, taking advantage of inspiration when it struck, and finally managed to put together something I was proud of. Instead of aiming for a last minute release at the end of the year, I allowed myself to wait until 2019 when I was ready to begin again as an author.
I'm pleased to say my next published book, Irresistibly Yours, will be out on January 16th. The cover reveal is in 2 days (designed by me!), and you'll be seeing it right here on this blog.
As for my actual resolutions, there are a number of them.
1. Continuing to Learn German Daily.
I love learning German! I started when my husband and I got married and he told me he'd take me to Austria for our honeymoon someday. It's not always the easiest language, in fact it's considered one of the more difficult ones, but it's so much fun. Some of the words are absolutely ridiculous and some are so similar to english. I started off last year pretty strong, but again, lost my streak and motivation. I recently got back on track with it, increasing my daily learning, and I'm noticing an improvement with my ability to make practical use of words and phrases in my daily life.
2. Losing Weight and Eating Healthier.
Isn't that the goal that 50% of people aim for at the start of a new year? However, I have multiple reasons for this goal. It has less to do with the weight loss and more to do with my health. Over the last few years my health has been declining. I've developed high blood pressure and more recently discovered I have high cholesterol. This is concerning to me, especially since both of these medical conditions run in the family. I don't want to continue down this path and someday have a heart attack. It seems like a stretch to be worried about it, but if it's hereditary and my diet is poor and I rarely exercise, it honestly isn't all stretch in the slightest.
Since meeting my husband, I've let myself go to the point of gaining 50 pounds. That's 50 pounds in 3 years. Might not seem like much, but on a 5'2" body, it shows and, more importantly, I feel it in my joints and feet. And given the medical issues I've developed since the weight gain, it's very concerning.
What I'm aiming for in 2019 is to make better choices with my food and to make exercise a priority. Food-wise I want to decrease my meat intake and eat a more plant-based diet. It'll probably take some trial and error in the change, but I feel it's the best way for me to improve my health. Exercise-wise I want to walk 5000 miles a day, and once the weather gets warmer, I'd like to start bike riding and rollerblading again. I'm hoping to see small improvements in my weight from the diet and exercise, which will hopefully translate to better health. And that better health might make it possible for me to get off medication if I can get my numbers to a better range.
3. Becoming More Mindful.
I discovered not long after I turned 30 that I have anxiety. I began taking medication to treat it, which has helped immensely. In the last few months I've been thinking about my anxiety a lot. It's been over 3 years since I started taking the medication and while it helps, I'm still extremely anxious at times. This, I think, affects my blood pressure on numerous occasions. At one point I began attempting to mediate with the help of an app and I really enjoyed the experience. Of course, I didn't stick with it, so that was another one of those things.
Being on all the medication I'm on bothers me, and I would like to eventually stop taking the anti-anxiety medication. It won't be easy, but I know that it is possible. Meditation feels like a path that could lead me someday to this. Also, journaling again would be very good. When I was diagnosed, my doctor recommended going to counseling, which I never did. I might start doing that if I can get it covered by my insurance. I think a combination of all of these things could lead to becoming more understanding of myself and how I can cope with my mental health.
This leads me to my word of the year.
BALANCE
I have a difficult time finding balance in life. One minute I can be extremely motivated, and the next I'm lazy AF. I push myself too hard and then reach the point of giving up. I don't want to set too high of goals, but I want to have goals.
This is where balance comes in. I know my limitations and my expectations aren't always in close range. So I'll be adjusting my goals and allowing for change where necessary. I am capable of a lot if I can put my mind to it, but I definitely don't want to set myself up for burnout by overdoing it.
Going hand in hand with balance is PATIENCE. I need to be patient with myself as I find a way through this new phase in my life. Will I stumble? Yes. Will I fail? Yes. But it shouldn't discourage me or make me give up. It should humble me and encourage me to try again.
There's a lot I've had to learn over the years. A lot I've had to overcome. The good, the bad, the ugly. My mindset needs to adapt to CHANGE. To not throw my hands up in defeat because life isn't going my way. To make changes that need to be made despite my reluctance. To stop being "nice" to the point of hurting myself by pushing myself too hard or staying in a situation I'm no longer comfortable in. To learn to say no to what I don't want and yes to what I do.
And that's about it! Honestly, it feels so good to get all my thoughts out, to make these plans and changes.
How about you? What are your goals/resolutions for 2019? Have you selected a word of the year? Tell me all about it in the comments!
Until next time,
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